Is This Pain Normal?
I'm navigating debilitating period pain, here's what's helping, and hindering.
Shark Week
It’s 3am, I wake up to the sensation of liquid between my labia and inner thighs. Since the age of 14 I’ve become accustomed to what this sensation means.
I cup my hand over my vulva, roll to the side, and spring out of my white bedsheets. A traditional recipe for disaster, but I’m a veteran now.
Ever since I was 14 I don’t know why, but I loved seeing blood on toilet paper. Maybe because it’s the only blood I’ve ever known that comes from something natural and good.
It’s Shark Week. My period has arrived.
I Love Women
Two months ago, Bec from Good Rituals messaged me on Instagram. She’s made Australia’s first of it’s kind, period pain relief products. She asks me if I’d be interested in trying it out. I love supporting women-founded businesses, and I hate cramping, so I say yes.
She sends me two products, one is a cramp relief cream that you apply topically. And the other are cramp relief patches that you stick on and provide up to 8 hours of relief. They’re vegan, cruelty free, and use native ingredients. Ticking all of my boxes so far.
I told myself I’d review these products and monitor my pain.
I learnt two things.
My pain is totally not normal.
The products work great.
Is This Normal?
Since I first started bleeding, I’ve experienced period cramps. But over the years they got much, much worse. I never questioned it, only assumed this was part of my experience. I just happened to be one of those women with really bad period pain.
So bad, that on Day One, I would struggle to get out of bed. I couldn’t physically stand long enough to shower, to make breakfast, or to walk my dog.
Instead the pain would radiate through me, and I would start to feel foggy, and fatigued. Some days, I’d sleep for 14+ hours.
On the days I’d persevere to private practice, I’d be in client sessions and feel myself losing consciousness. I’d be riddled with guilt, cancelling a day of clients, losing hundreds of dollars, just to manage the pain.
Is this normal? People would ask me.
It’s normal for me! I would say.
Pain Relief
I’m not going to lie, my pain relief protocol so far has been pain killers, masturbating and sleeping it off. So I was keen to find something that would allow me to move around a bit more.
I’ve used the Good Rituals products for two periods now, and this is how they worked best for me and my body.
The cramp relief cream is stronger if you put more on, so I used it in the day. The stronger, tingly sensation distracted me from my cramps. Similar to using a TEMs machine except it smells great and isn’t painful.
The cramp relief adhesives were great at night because they last up to 8 hours. I usually take pain killers before bed, but wake in the night in pain. When I paired the adhesives with magnesium citrate (and no painkillers), I SLEPT THE NIGHT THROUGH. I could not believe it.
The scientist in me must disclose that I did several things differently this past period that meant I had the most normal Day One I’ve had in literal years.
I showered and put the cream on first thing even though I was crampy. I drank tea not coffee. I took a gentle walk with my dog and got sunshine. I used the patches at night paired with magnesium.
Although I still had a fairly chill day, integrating these products seemed to really help, and were way nicer than relying on pain killers.
What Do I Do If I’m In Pain?
If you’re like me, and you’ve fallen victim to a patriarchal society that conditions you to minimise your suffering and endure— you’re not alone.
I am going to take my pain seriously, and I invite you to do so as well. My first step was to speak with my GP. The next step will be to book in for an ultrasound to check for Endometriosis, and to see a specialist gynaecologist.
Because it’s not normal to have your daily life affected by period pain.
Endometriosis
Endometriosis is when your uterine lining (period blood) grows somewhere other than the inner wall of the uterus. These are called lesions, and they lead to incredible amounts of pain.
The symptoms of Endo include:
Severe period pain, heavy or irregular bleeding.
Chronic pelvic pain in the lower back, legs, or pelvis.
Painful sexual intercourse, can affect fertility
Pooping and peeing is painful
Fatigue, bloating, nausea, constipation or diarrhea
It affects 1 in 7 Australian women.
It takes on average 7 years to get diagnosed.
There is no cure.
If One More Person Tells Me To Take Hormonal Contraception I’m Going To Scream.
I can’t take hormonal contraceptives. They make me incredibly anxious, and I develop suicidal ideation. That’s not normal, and I shouldn’t have to choose between thinking about dying, or being in excruciating pain.
But alas, they burnt all the witches who carried knowledge on women’s health issues, and dumb-dumb boys took over the medical industry so now it’s incredibly sexist and women’s reproductive health is completely misunderstood and under-researched.
Despite telling people I’ll go ‘07 Britney on hormonal contraceptives, they keep telling me it’s my only option.
That isn’t true.
Much like almost every aspect of sexual health, Endometriosis isn’t a single, gynaecological health condition.
It is a systemic issue impacted by auto-immune state, inflammation, gut microbiome, genetics, environmental factors, and stress. It affects other systems too, like hormones, mood, mental health, reproduction, sexual desire, and sexual satisfaction.
So I will be taking a systemic approach to helping my body. I will see a specialist gynae, but also a naturopath, and acupuncturist.
In the meantime, I want to be as comfortable as possible, and all I can say is that Good Rituals have helped with that immensely.